Ashes

I'd like to say over the past several weeks I've been uber-productive, had scores of job interviews, and been so happy and agreeable the whole time. Instead, I've been semi-productive, had one job interview, and been happy about 50% of the time. I'm learning that being unemployed is exciting only for the time it takes to fully relax and recover. Then, you start getting antsy and worried you're going to be purpose-less for the rest of your life. Thankfully, I have friends and a Father who speak truth into my life constantly. :)

Tomorrow I set off on what will probably be a very emotional and exciting trip to Kansas. I'll spend a few days in Lawrence, a few days with my maternal grandmother, and then a week out on my paternal grandparent's farm. My main purpose in visiting the farm is to create a scrapbook of my grandfather's childhood and heritage. You know, all those old, crumbling pictures that they bring out every Christmas and thumb through but forget who everyone is? Well, I cringe at those pictures and dream of how much better they can be preserved and archived for their succeeding generations. I made a scrapbook for my grandmother a few years back, and this year, my grandparents are celebrating their 65th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY so I offered to complete the set and make my grandpa one, too.

Y'all, can I tell you about my grandparents?

They were married on April 7, 1947. As you can see in the picture above, my grandpa's flower was pinned upside down. The story is that he didn't know otherwise, someone just told him that was correct. We have plenty of laughs about it now! My grandmother grew up in a small town a few miles from Oberlin, KS and met my grandfather in school. After they were married, they settled in his parent's farmhouse and continued the business. In fact, my grandfather was BORN on the property they still live on. It's like stepping into a different world when I go to the farm.

A few weeks ago, about 70% of their farm was burned in a fire that started when an overheated car pulled off the dirt road into a ditch, then caught the dry grass on fire near their property. One of the many outbuildings burned, this once magnificent barn was reduced to steel and ash.

(The picture above is looking west, the picture below is an aerial shot looking south.)

So, needless to say, this trip to the farm will be different. I'll be attempting to capture the life and story of my grandfather, his war stories, turning points, and spiritual wisdom, preserving the memories he has left for me and my grandchildren. And I'll attempt to grieve and cope with the loss of such a meaningful place in my life - where I've skipped over hale bales as a child, drove around on a four-wheeler as a teenager, and as I got older, learned to appreciate the antiquity and tradition my grandparent's lives exemplified. I'm deeply traditional and love stories, and I'm excited about what I'm going to experience and remember, but also know it will be hard at times to face the reality of aging grandparents and an ashen farmstead. All in all, though, isn't that what we become? Dust to dust, ashes to ashes? I hope my life can be recorded and remembered as such:

¹⁹ “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. ²⁰ But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. ²¹ For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." -Matthew 6:19-21