After we returned from our honeymoon, we were opening cards and gifts, and I opened one from a friend who had gotten married last year. It had some congratulatory lines, and then, "...marriage is for sure an adjustment!"
Womp womp, I thought. Well that's cheery! It's an adjustment! I was thinking more along the lines of "enjoy your happy lives together" and "it's so nice to be in love!"
She couldn't have been more right.
In the past two months, I've learned A LOT. A lot about myself, a lot about this other person that I promised a lot of things to. One thing that has been most surprising is how much this other person is all up in my BUSINESS, if you know what I mean. All of a sudden, if I'm having a bad day, they want to know why. They want to fix it. They're also there. Unlike my previous living situations, I can't just shut my bedroom door and spend time alone, sulking, eating brownie batter and watching Frozen. Not only is it hard to recognize myself that I'm having a bad day, there's someone else who wants to join in and love me through it!
But I'm having a bad day. I'm cranky. I'm not being nice to you. In fact, I'm not providing anything for you. I'm loving you incredibly poorly right now.
I'm adjusting to the idea that there's someone who wants to love me for who I am. While that sounds amazing, it's really scary. What if they find out I'm weird? Annoying? Sometimes lack self-control? Like to eat brownie batter and watch Frozen? And then I realize that's how God loves me, for who I am. In fact, he made me the way I am, so there's no surprises with Him.
Funny how marriage has opened my eyes to the Father's love even more. What an adjustment, hard and beautiful, all at the same time. I know what my friend means now. :)
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