Pregnancy.

Currently, I feel somewhat pregnant. I have bouts of exhaustion and have to pee a lot (but don't pee a lot when I do, what's up with that?!), but otherwise don't feel that pregnant. I just feel fat. Like as in, I ate too much over the holidays and have yet to gain my old body back. My pants don't fit, I can't stretch as far as I could before in yoga class, and lying on my tummy is sometimes uncomfortable. But all those things could be true for someone who was just larger in general.

However, despite my semi-pregnant feelings, I do have other symptoms and signs there really is a human being growing inside of me. I'm not that hung up on "symptoms," mostly because having a chronic illness numbs you to the novelty of something feeling wrong or not good in your body. But these are different and new and somehow pointing me towards the fact that yes, I am pregnant.

I should probably just buy stock in Zantac. I eat that stuff like candy. So much for my lower esophageal sphincter. (For those who are unsure what I'm referring to, it's HEARTBURN). Ouch.

I bought a bunch of maternity clothes recently, and as much fun as it was to buy new clothes and have new options, I also really miss my old clothes. I mean, I spent the past 20+ years putting together my wardrobe! I really like the set I had! 

My sinuses are swollen (pregnancy side effect) so sometimes the nose breathing during the entirety of my yoga class is not my fave, or running up the stairs, or carrying large objects. Unfortunately, I don't see this improving much anytime soon. Maybe I can ask to breathe through my mouth?

But I AM pregnant. When I find myself leaning towards complaining (which actually I do little of), I remind myself this is a gift. A miracle. This wasn't supposed to happen, but God made sure it did.

And as I write notes to my future baby in their little journal, I am filled with wonder that God is creating an entirely unique human being, allowing me to experience its growth, and entrusting me with the baby's care. I am so thankful we have 9ish months to prepare for baby; I'm going to need all that time to really process and take hold of what is to come.

So there's my current happenings. In two weeks, we get to find out the gender. I have a feeling it will become all the more real after that appointment! :)