Letting the Mess Happen

So far for me, motherhood AND life have been a lot of sitting in the mud. It's not clean, pretty, or organized. It's not polished, professional, or smooth. It's MESSY.

We are all a mess. ALL OF US. Some of us cover it up more than others, but don't be fooled by the pretty Instagram post of all the children smiling, the toys put away, and the clean, white walls and cabinets in someone else's kitchen. Pinterest is not a standard that can EVER be achieved without sacrificing some other piece of the puzzle.

Every Sunday evening, our group of friends take turns hosting dinner for the rest of us. The host prepares the food, and cleans up afterwards. There are approximately 17 adults and 16 kids if we all show up! Just imagine pure chaos. That's what it's like. Toys and food crumbs everywhere, chairs and food plates strewn about. There isn't a concerted effort to put away any toys afterwards, and while it's sometimes frustrating, it's taught me a lot of grace for hosting. I think there is a time for helping to clean up a mess you made, but with so many kids and specific places to put the toys, I think this is not it. (Can you imagine me standing over 16 kids directing them? I have trouble doing that with just one and she's my child!) So, hosting DR is a big deal, but even less so if you just let it go. It's going to be a mess, but nothing that an hour or so of organizing, cleaning, and taking out the trash will fix. And it's WORTH IT. The whole point is community and allowing a touch point for the adults and play time for the children. It started when the founding members were in college, and mostly going to the same church. Now that we've grown and moved around, this touchpoint is sometimes the only real conversation we have all week. It doesn't replace deep connection and prayer, but it does provide a space to be seen and heard, and sometimes, called out. I've received (and sent) texts afterwards like "are you ok? you seemed kind of off" multiple times.

Dinner Rotation has given me the gift of letting go. If my kids want to do an activity that will possibly make a mess, I hesitate. Is the joy of the activity going to be shadowed by the amount of clean up? And that's a wrestling point for me. I love to be clean and organized. But over the years of hosting people in my house, both large and small in numbers, have taught me to just let it go. It will be worth it. Making a mess and having fun are the stuff memories are made of, aren't they?

Nothing allows me to realize the mud of motherhood and life are actually not that bad than having people over. I'm slowly learning that hosting and opening my home are the best ways to extend grace and love - to others for sure, but also to myself.