The Big City

This weekend I went on a mini-road trip to Houston, TX. One of my friends works for a ministry that helps the women get out of the sex slave trade in Thailand and a Houston non-profit (House of Hope?) was sponsoring, as part of Anti-Trafficking Week, an event that included a speaker and booths set up to buy items made by individuals transitioning out of the sex slave trade. It was really fun, and I was an impromptu spokesperson for the ministry because I was standing behind the table! I love meeting people at such events, and we were there far after the event was over, chatting with customers and attendees.

We stayed with her sister, who lives there. Our purpose was to attend the event and then "see" Houston, as I had never been before. As I was preparing for the weekend and telling people about it, it became apparent to me that Houston may not be such an exciting destination as I thought it would be. First of all, it is all city. There are but 2 parks in the whole city limits, and as we found out on Saturday, they are crammed full with people because that's all they got!

I returned extremely grateful for Austin and it's notoriety for being an "outdoor" city, where a hike, swim, kayak, or mountain bike trail is literally only 5 minutes away from anything. And I also came away appreciative of the fact that Austin is, in proportion to Houston, "small."

Let me tell you how big Houston is. It's GINORMOUS. On our way in, the freeway widened to over 12 lanes. TWELVE LANES!!! I guess they need that much room to put all 2.5 million people who live there. Fortunately, all of our activities were within 15 minutes of each other, which apparently is a rare occurrence. The other thing was HUGE about Houston was our church service today. My friend's sister goes to First Baptist of Houston, and there was easily 5000 people in this auditorium at our service. The young adult ministry has 100s of members. It's just huge!

I am understanding more and more that I don't like cities. I will visit them, and fly to them, and spend a few days in them, but I would prefer to live in a more rural area. Not necessarily in the country, but either in a smaller town or just on the outskirts of town. I need my space. I need some air. And I don't need a traffic jam making Mo-Pac turn into a parking lot.

Where's my Texas cowboy rancher when I need him? :)

Movie Reviews: AFI Top 100 #4-6

4. Raging Bull (1980)
I'm not much of a boxing movie fan (but I'll have to be as Rocky is in the Top 100 and I have yet to watch it), so the appeal of viewing this one was low. But since it's #4, I figured it had a good message or some other reason it was a good movie. Raging Bull is a true story that portrays the famous boxer Jake LaMotta and his life in the ring and outside of the ring, the former going well but the latter declining as time goes by. It has a younger Robert De Niro and Joe Pesci, and by watching the special features I learned that De Niro had to gain 60 lbs. for the scenes that were supposed to take place later in LaMotta's life in addition to actually training with LaMotta for the filming. They apparently stopped filming for 2 months and De Niro went to Europe to accomplish the weight gain. Crazy!

Why It's in the Top 100: Turns out, it does have a good message! From early on in the movie, we see that LaMotta is very selfish and self-centered, and if it weren't for his caring manager & brother, Joey, he would be in a lot more trouble. Eventually, LaMotta discovers that he can't have everything and treat people the way he does because they all eventually leave and give up on him. The ending has some hope, as well, and by all records I could find, the real LaMotta is still alive.




5. Singin' in the Rain (1952)
Besides the annoyingly-catchy song of the same title, I didn't know much about this film before viewing it. However, since I'm big into development and history and learning how things, practices, and procedures evolved, this was a treat. Set in 1927, the film chronicles the transition from silent films to films with sound. Before the switch, it was your classic film a scene while mouthing the words and then a slide came up with the words that were spoken. When a small silent film production company makes the switch to sound (the "new revolution" in film!), they discover their main actress sounds awful. Drama ensues and of course, so does romance.

Why it's in the Top 100: Besides chronicling the transition and development of film with sound matched to the actions, it's also a cute tale of difficulties and triumphing over them. I really enjoyed the historical aspect of the film, and of course, the famous scene with Gene Kelly singing his song. A all-around fun movie!



6. Gone With the Wind (1939)
If you know me well, you know that this is my FAVORITE MOVIE EVER. PERIOD. It all started when I was reading Ya-Ya Sisterhood and was confused by their references to GWTW, so being the reader I am, started reading the book. And of course, after reading the book, I had to watch the movie. I actually remember being at JBU and taking almost a whole day to watch the movei (4 hours) and the special edition extras (4 hours). Ridiculous, I know. For those who have been living under a rock, this movie is the story of Scarlett O'Hara (Vivien Leigh) and Rhett Butler (Clark Gable) and their romance and drama, set in the South during the Civil War and Reconstruction.

Why it's in the Top 100: 1. Notice that this movie was filmed in 1939. Do you know what kind of technology they had available then? Not much! It's amazing to see how well they did with what they had! 2. Clark Gable. 3. It was such a box office hit, as well as Margaret Mitchell's book success, that anyone who was alive when it was released would've known about it. 4. Several famous quotes, the best being, "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." (While reading the book, I kept waiting and waiting for that quote to appear. It's actually one of the last lines!) All in all, this movie is a CLASSIC and everyone should at least have seen part of it if not all. LOVE IT!

Here Come the Crazies

I love to be organized. I purchased a few items this weekend like a few baskets and filing boxes and was so soothed by the feeling of peace after I organized the items within them, I was reassured of my inner desire to have everything always organized. I need to sit and think how this all started, but ever since junior high, I've always had a "place for everything and everything in its place." Even at work I tend to tidy up the spaces I find, much to the delight of my mess-inducing coworkers. I even was commissioned on a few family projects like my mom's basement and my father's office at work. I remember my dad saying something like, "You know, Becca, you could start your own business doing this!" I internally thought, first of all, I don't know the first thing about starting a business, and secondly, do people really need organizing that much?

So about a month ago when I was randomly watching Hoarders: Buried Alive, I was surprised to discover that you can be, as a career, a Professional Organizer. And I realized that it is a need. The people on the show were very extreme examples, but I knew there had to be more mild ones. So what did I do? I googled "professional organizer." Whew. I opened a WHOLE new world.

First off, I perused the website of the National Association of Professional Organizers. I learned that there are certifications you can study for and achieve, short, webinar-like classes that can serve as education (since you can't get a degree in organizing), and local chapters of NAPO where you can get plugged in and network with other organizers. If you're interested in finding an organizer as a client, you can search their database and receive a referral.

Then I looked up some Austin-area organizing businesses and browsed those sites, checking rates and services available. I even read the "About Us" section to get a better idea of who these people might be.

That's when I started laughing. Is this a joke?

Nope, it's not. They're just that crazy. Consider this excerpt from Christie's profile: "Christie was born to be a professional organizer. Throughout elementary school, she was well-known for having perfectly organized notebooks and amongst her first home organizing projects was to organize all of her clothes by season and color and alphabetize all of her books. At the end of her senior year in high school, Christie was recognized as “Most Organized Female” in her class."

I was seriously halfway laughing and halfway like, could I ever join these crazies? Their pictures are all nice and neat, straight hair, neat clothing. I looked at my curly, crinkley hair and comfortable style and thought, "Well, if I do ever become a professional organizer, I'll be the rogue and different one." I'm sure ALL of them are Type A, which I am not. My thoughts about doing this myself as a side business were vanishing before me, as well. I no absolutely nothing about starting my own business, and would prefer the security of someone else's efforts and foundation in joining another organizing firm.

Because I'm contemplating joining the crazies, I'm going to the Austin-area chapter's meeting on September 20. It happens to be at my favorite restaurant and according to the president of Arranging It All, who I contacted for information regarding starting in the business, it's a great way to network and find out all you can as you wedge your way into the world of the crazies. He didn't say that last part, but I knew that's what he meant. :)

Repression or Just Healthy Coping?

I know, I know, 2 posts in 3 days, what is wrong with me? Just super reflective, I guess! I'm headed off to Camp Eagle for the weekend, but didn't want to wait until I was back to blog on this.

So this week was rough. I pulled a 12 hour shift on Wednesday and since my supervisor has taken a leave of absence, I've felt a lot more pressure to complete tasks that normally we work together on and now I have no idea what's going on. (See previous post: I Have No Idea What I'm Doing). For instance, normally she coordinates who is speaking at our next support group lunch, and so it was my job to figure that out. I still am super nervous about talking to most doctors - so her idea of having one of the hospitalists speak was not my cup of tea. But you know what? I grew up and made the call. And sometimes you just have to DO it, even if you don't want to.

Thursday, yesterday, was the worst. I was in the ICU, caring for one of my heart surgery patients. While I was typing up a note about him, my other surgery patient stopped breathing and coded. In that situation, everyone in the area rushes to the room to help, and although I'm trained in ACLS, I officially am not assigned a role, especially when there's nurses who do this a lot more often. So I took an observational position outside the room, looking through the small window. While they're trying to establish her airway, the surgeon makes it up and starts doing compressions, shouting out orders I can't hear. He then decides to "go in," and they prepare a surgical tray. I don't think I'll ever forget what happened next. Ever. Since she had just had surgery the day before, her sternum was already broken, so he just cut right through, reached his hand in, and started to literally pump her heart for her!

I was standing next to the chaplain, observing from a mere curious point of view, interested to see how a code was run, who does what, and what decisions are made. The chaplain sighed once and I immediately was brought out of my objective view into the fact that there was a grandmother, mother, and wife in there, fighting for her life, who I had just spoken to the day before when I did her pre-op teaching and assessment. I started to recall our conversation, her anxiety about the surgery, and meeting her daughter. It all kind of hit me and suddenly I realized I was praying for her.

The team left the floor, headed to the OR, and I was left standing there, dumfounded. The other nurses were hanging around, cleaning up the mess and asking who had given what drug and when. There was no pow-wow or debriefing, life went on as normal. I wasn't quite sure what to make of it. I returned after lunch to find an empty room. They ended up taking her to the OR to try and fix her bypasses, then to the cath lab to stent her failing vessels, and finally she expired.

If I had not known this patient, I wouldn't have thought much of it. But I DID know her. I spoke to her, helped her understand the specifics of her surgery. And that day, the team didn't just lose another patient, they lost the life of someone who was loved and treasured by her family and friends. To them, the world had stopped. But to the hospital staff, it has to keep going.

I've been wrestling with the battle between my emotions as a person and my emotions as a caregiver. The only way to survive in the ICU and working at a hospital, I believe, is by repressing or not even acknowledging these feelings. If you do, you will end up having a crummy day and not be able to focus, haunted by the thoughts and actions you did or did not take. You instead have to take an objective view and not get personally involved. But how do you remain compassionate and caring in your position?

I know I'm new to working in a hospital, so after time I will learn to cope, but gosh, this stuff is hard.

My First Austin Summer in Review

Caveat: Since I Just pulled a 12-hour shift, this post may not be very clear or comprehensive. I don't have the patience for pictures right now, so just imagine what I've posted previously!

If you are like me and measure summer by the months of May-August, then it is appropriate for me to now look back on my first summer in Austin. Mind you this is not my first summer in Texas, as I sweated away as a backpacking guide OUTSIDE at Camp Eagle for 3 summers previously. I have no clue how that was possible, seeing as I observed several times this summer that it was extremely hot and I had no idea how anyone could live outside, such as I did before. I'll chalk it up to my young age. :)

One thing that helped immensely this summer was the blog 365 Things Austin. It's set up by a real estate agent who has set out to blog about 365 things to do in Austin. The summer posts were mostly outdoor activities, which of several I participated. A lot of the activities were free, like the Music Under the Star event, Blues on the Green, Texas State History Museum, Stand-Up Paddling, and the Zilker Hillside Theatre. I also camped at Inks Lake, played around on Lake Travis, and went hiking near Dawn's house, which aren't all free, but close!

In addition, I got to spend lots of time with my family in Kansas and Florida (and here when my mom visited!), and my newest niece, Claire Abigail was born!

I went to several new places to eat and be entertained, like Antonio's, the Oasis, and Alamo Draft House, which are all Austin-favorites. I still have a few more on my list, but don't worry, there's plenty of time.

All in all, my first Austin summer was AMAZING! There is so much to do in this city and a lot of it is focused on family-friendly, healthy activities. The vibe is definitely one of "come on, join us!" and everyone I've met is very welcoming.

Now comes the fall, crazy right?! Let's see what adventures I can find next!