The first day back at work after returning from my honeymoon, my intern was following me around as I was rounding on my patients. After writing a note in a patient's chart, I signed my name as usual, but then stopped short and stared at the only signature I'd ever known: Rebecca May. She noticed my pause, saying, "Aren't you going to sign your new name?" I was dumbfounded. I guess so? What is my new name? How do I sign it? Is it really MY name yet? Is it official? Who says?
It wasn't until a month later, after submitting paperwork and driving all across town that I held two, small pieces of paper that announced indeed, I was Rebecca May Bassett. It wasn't until then that it felt real. I would go to a doctor's appointment, but get confused when they asked my name - am I Rebecca May here or the new one? Con artists must be pretty smart to keep up with all the aliases they have! I could barely keep straight who knew which name and when people questioned my pause, having to explain the situation. I know who I am, I promise!
One step in the journey to becoming Mrs. Bassett was leaving behind my given name: Rebecca Suzanne Jecha (ye-ka) May. Oof, I know, it's a long one. But it was mine. I was originally sans the Suzanne, added when I was 5 years old. The only thing I remember about the name change announcement from my parents was my deep sadness that I wouldn't be able to rhyme my name anymore - Rebecca Jecha May had such a nice, rhythmic ring to it!
So there was a process or handful of moments when I would stare at the new name, then back at my old one, and mentally release my identity as the former in order to fully embrace the latter. As it goes with changing your name, so does your identity. What you are called greatly impacts your identity, who you think you are, and how others perceive you. Naming children must be such a weighty task!
Another thing I realized was that I actually began the name-changing process 10 years ago at Camp Eagle when my friend Mitchell randomly asked one day, "Hey, can we call you Reba?" I had no objections, it sounded cool, so I obliged. Unbeknownst to me, God was preparing a new chapter for my life, one that began small, but as I graduated, moved to Kansas, then moved to Austin, it began to write itself into the most beautiful, redemptive story I could never have thought up. Since moving to Austin, God has increasingly dug into my heart, exposed the lies and hurt that was there, and graciously and warmly healed and redeemed who I thought I was as He was forming me into who I actually am. Thus, my new name began to rest comfortably in a new heart: Reba.
So when I married my husband and "took" his last name as my own, replacing my past with my future, I was in essence forming my new identity.
Reba Bassett, an entirely new woman in more ways than one.
Thursday, July 31, 2014
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Why I Write
I'm not a professional writer, but I do enjoy expressing my thoughts verbally and on "paper." Typing seems to be the fastest way for my thoughts to record themselves, and I often find myself typing my journal entries instead of physically writing them because there is just so much to spew out.
I never know when I'll have an observation, idea, or topic I feel the need to write about; it just happens. Sometimes the only way to fully understand and process something is for me to explore it through writing. Akin to a sudden need to use the restroom, the illustrious David Sedaris has remarked that he often can't control his writing prompts, creating lots of awkward situations in which he MUST WRITE in the basement instead of spending time with his in-laws upstairs, in one example. I usually write ideas in my phone to look at later when I'm uninterrupted and feeling the "flow" to write.
But I really just write for myself. I have no desire to be a famous blogger, writer, or have anything go viral - in fact, that would make me really uncomfortable. I write because I want to understand myself, and in sharing it with others, want them to understand me, too. I write because it helps me see my ideas and thoughts in an organized fashion, which is typically not how they initially show up in my brain. I write because it soothes me to have something resolved; something finished and posted. Even though the issue may not be finished, I at least have part of the puzzle I can use as a signpost when I navigate the process later on.
This blog is simply me processing life. There is a lot that is new, a lot that is changing. And I don't want to miss any of it. I hope you enjoy my journey!
I never know when I'll have an observation, idea, or topic I feel the need to write about; it just happens. Sometimes the only way to fully understand and process something is for me to explore it through writing. Akin to a sudden need to use the restroom, the illustrious David Sedaris has remarked that he often can't control his writing prompts, creating lots of awkward situations in which he MUST WRITE in the basement instead of spending time with his in-laws upstairs, in one example. I usually write ideas in my phone to look at later when I'm uninterrupted and feeling the "flow" to write.
But I really just write for myself. I have no desire to be a famous blogger, writer, or have anything go viral - in fact, that would make me really uncomfortable. I write because I want to understand myself, and in sharing it with others, want them to understand me, too. I write because it helps me see my ideas and thoughts in an organized fashion, which is typically not how they initially show up in my brain. I write because it soothes me to have something resolved; something finished and posted. Even though the issue may not be finished, I at least have part of the puzzle I can use as a signpost when I navigate the process later on.
This blog is simply me processing life. There is a lot that is new, a lot that is changing. And I don't want to miss any of it. I hope you enjoy my journey!
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
On Being Blunt
One thing I highly value is efficiency. Whatever is the quickest and most productive way to get something done is the best. While I am a verbal processor and can want to explore things out loud often, when a question is asked that I can answer quickly, I do. Why waste time beating around the bush? Just be honest.
Apparently that's a unique trait.
There have been several times my husband and I have, to anyone else, the most bluntest and honest conversation, usually covering a lot of ground in about 10 seconds. I'm so thankful that he's not intimidated by it, and in fact, appreciates the way we communicate. It would drive me crazy if it took 20 minutes to cover the same ground, especially with someone I know better than any other relationship.
Case in point, we were sitting out on the patio after dinner one night, across the table from each other, and he asked what I wanted to do that evening. Rather than say "maybe we could watch a movie" or "maybe we could go on a walk" with several winks and bats of my eyelashes, I simply said, "I think I need some touch time." I tend to receive love and comfort through physical touch, and instead of suggesting ways that could happen and letting him guess until he got it right, I simply said what I really needed, the deepest, most honest answer I could give. He laughed, and we ended up snuggling on the couch, talking and relaxing. My honest answer gave him freedom to pick any number of options, knowing the real felt need at the time.
But beyond efficiency, I also prize being blunt and honest because it's taken me awhile to be ok with who I am and what I really want to say. I used to be a person who saw my value as very low, and therefore what I wanted to communicate as not important. It's taken a lot of healing and disbelieving lies to get me to feel like I have a voice that people want to hear. I haven't "arrived" at being totally honest (not sure anyone does!), and often have to remember to just "get it out there" instead of letting myself be intimidated by how I think the other person is perceiving who I am or what I'm saying.
But I do feel much better when what's really going on can be put out there instead of waltzing around the issue, hoping someone will know me well enough to guess my needs. I feel safe when I know what is the truth, what is the status quo, and what might happen in the future rather than just guessing and waiting and wondering. I think I do it more for myself than anyone else.
I've also had to learn tact, and how to balance compassion with honesty; listening between the lines. And it's tough, probably just as tough as it is for someone who isn't used to honesty and being blunt. Regardless of your communication style, the bottom line is to listen. You'd be surprised what some people really are saying.
Apparently that's a unique trait.
There have been several times my husband and I have, to anyone else, the most bluntest and honest conversation, usually covering a lot of ground in about 10 seconds. I'm so thankful that he's not intimidated by it, and in fact, appreciates the way we communicate. It would drive me crazy if it took 20 minutes to cover the same ground, especially with someone I know better than any other relationship.
Case in point, we were sitting out on the patio after dinner one night, across the table from each other, and he asked what I wanted to do that evening. Rather than say "maybe we could watch a movie" or "maybe we could go on a walk" with several winks and bats of my eyelashes, I simply said, "I think I need some touch time." I tend to receive love and comfort through physical touch, and instead of suggesting ways that could happen and letting him guess until he got it right, I simply said what I really needed, the deepest, most honest answer I could give. He laughed, and we ended up snuggling on the couch, talking and relaxing. My honest answer gave him freedom to pick any number of options, knowing the real felt need at the time.
But beyond efficiency, I also prize being blunt and honest because it's taken me awhile to be ok with who I am and what I really want to say. I used to be a person who saw my value as very low, and therefore what I wanted to communicate as not important. It's taken a lot of healing and disbelieving lies to get me to feel like I have a voice that people want to hear. I haven't "arrived" at being totally honest (not sure anyone does!), and often have to remember to just "get it out there" instead of letting myself be intimidated by how I think the other person is perceiving who I am or what I'm saying.
But I do feel much better when what's really going on can be put out there instead of waltzing around the issue, hoping someone will know me well enough to guess my needs. I feel safe when I know what is the truth, what is the status quo, and what might happen in the future rather than just guessing and waiting and wondering. I think I do it more for myself than anyone else.
I've also had to learn tact, and how to balance compassion with honesty; listening between the lines. And it's tough, probably just as tough as it is for someone who isn't used to honesty and being blunt. Regardless of your communication style, the bottom line is to listen. You'd be surprised what some people really are saying.
Sunday, June 15, 2014
30 Thanks
{no particular order}
1. How completely different my life is now than when I was dreaming it up at age 10. The Lord has been so good to redeem and completely blow my meager expectations out of the water! I could never have imagined where I would be today.
2. My amazing, hilarious, strong, honest, and adventurous husband who loves me so well. I am a different and better person because of him. And he's pretty cute. :)
3. That I am not perfect.
4. My grandparents, their parents, their parents, and the generations before me. Each action my ancestors had has affected my life, and I am so grateful for each. I particularly am thankful for my grandparents, as they've taught me so much about respect, laughter, work ethic, and love for the Lord.
5. A job that is many many many answers to prayer and fasting; a job where I teach and facilitate exercise and recovery, interact with and love on people, and yet come home with stories of hope, healing, and interesting patients!
6. Sweet tea, over ice, with sliced lemon, in a mason jar. My end of work treat.
7. The opportunity to play guitar and lead worship for our small group. Half the time I don't have a clue what I'm doing, and I'm so thankful it's not about my skill. I get to be a part of some amazing stuff!
8. The beautiful combination of sun, water, and quiet. So healing and restorative.
9. The 3 summers I worked at Camp Eagle/Eagle Quest. I got a lot of my work ethic from the continual experiences of being handed a task and told to go do it. I learned resourcefulness, time management, and ultimately how to have fun doing it!
10. The 9 months I worked for Starbucks. There are things I learned and experienced that I could not have done so anywhere else.
11. Freedom.
12. Brownie batter. Yum!
13. Music. There are just some things that can only be expressed through singing, listening, and playing. So thankful for it's therapeutic effects, mood-boosting aspects, and ability to make me cry!
14. The knowledge that I am loved, and loved deeply. This truly gives me the greatest happiness I've known.
15. The feeling of clean sheets the first time you lay on them.
16. This may seem odd, but the first time you smell yourself on a backpacking trip. It reminds me that I'm in the middle of nowhere, that I don't have to shower, and that I'm doing something completely different than my usual life. And it makes me appreciate the shower at the end of it!
17. Dr. Tew, my rheumatologist, the first doctor I met upon moving to Austin. He not only is a big sweetheart, but is calm, gives me perspective, and understands my needs. He also is a doctor who fought to keep me as his patient when my insurance changed. I am so grateful for his care and direction over the past 4.5 years of craziness!
18. Sentimentality. I am so grateful for a way to enjoy memories, give respect, and value what really matters. I cry a lot and keep seemingly insignificant objects, but I love it!
19. My church. Who would've thought I would become one of the crazy and happy dancers during worship? They have provided such a beautiful atmosphere for my healing and maturing in the last 4 years.
20. Dry milk and saving butter wrappers to oil a pan. These practices I grew up with taught me a lot about the value of what I have access to now.
21. All I have, I have received as a gift, not based on my performance or failures.
22. SUMMER! I could do this all year. The Lord knew what He was doing when I was born in June.
23. The newness of marriage. It's almost as if I have one story: before I got married, and now I have another. The world is before us!
24. Stories. One of my favorite volunteer jobs was to record the life stories of elderly individuals in the hospital. There's something so tender and humbling about hearing someone's story, and I'm so grateful for how it helps me love and relate with them more, knowing where they're coming from. We all have a story!
25. This goes with summer, but SUN and WATER, typically together. I feel so alive after being outside in the sun, cooling off in the water, or just letting the water calm me by staring at its consistency and peace.
26. I have an amazing community of friends and family. It's so heart-wrenching to see patients who literally have no one to care for them. I'm so grateful I have such a beautiful mix of people who I can rely on and they can rely on me.
27. Through all of my health issues, I have always been able to exercise, in some form or fashion. Being active, working out really hard, pushing it, lifting too much, being sore, sweating... these all help me de-stress, improve my physical health, but most importantly remind me that I am ALIVE! I am so grateful I can breathe and do what I love, regardless of my trachea size. :)
28. The combination of bacon and avocados, so full of texture (and fat). Nothing better!
29. Pictures from NASA of the universe. It helps me see God's perspective as well as remember His hugeness! (follow them on instagram!)
30. Finally, I am thankful for these amazing 30 years the Lord has given me. I can't imagine what the next 30 will look like... but I'm excited to see what story He writes with my life!
1. How completely different my life is now than when I was dreaming it up at age 10. The Lord has been so good to redeem and completely blow my meager expectations out of the water! I could never have imagined where I would be today.
2. My amazing, hilarious, strong, honest, and adventurous husband who loves me so well. I am a different and better person because of him. And he's pretty cute. :)
3. That I am not perfect.
4. My grandparents, their parents, their parents, and the generations before me. Each action my ancestors had has affected my life, and I am so grateful for each. I particularly am thankful for my grandparents, as they've taught me so much about respect, laughter, work ethic, and love for the Lord.
5. A job that is many many many answers to prayer and fasting; a job where I teach and facilitate exercise and recovery, interact with and love on people, and yet come home with stories of hope, healing, and interesting patients!
6. Sweet tea, over ice, with sliced lemon, in a mason jar. My end of work treat.
7. The opportunity to play guitar and lead worship for our small group. Half the time I don't have a clue what I'm doing, and I'm so thankful it's not about my skill. I get to be a part of some amazing stuff!
8. The beautiful combination of sun, water, and quiet. So healing and restorative.
9. The 3 summers I worked at Camp Eagle/Eagle Quest. I got a lot of my work ethic from the continual experiences of being handed a task and told to go do it. I learned resourcefulness, time management, and ultimately how to have fun doing it!
10. The 9 months I worked for Starbucks. There are things I learned and experienced that I could not have done so anywhere else.
11. Freedom.
12. Brownie batter. Yum!
13. Music. There are just some things that can only be expressed through singing, listening, and playing. So thankful for it's therapeutic effects, mood-boosting aspects, and ability to make me cry!
14. The knowledge that I am loved, and loved deeply. This truly gives me the greatest happiness I've known.
15. The feeling of clean sheets the first time you lay on them.
16. This may seem odd, but the first time you smell yourself on a backpacking trip. It reminds me that I'm in the middle of nowhere, that I don't have to shower, and that I'm doing something completely different than my usual life. And it makes me appreciate the shower at the end of it!
17. Dr. Tew, my rheumatologist, the first doctor I met upon moving to Austin. He not only is a big sweetheart, but is calm, gives me perspective, and understands my needs. He also is a doctor who fought to keep me as his patient when my insurance changed. I am so grateful for his care and direction over the past 4.5 years of craziness!
18. Sentimentality. I am so grateful for a way to enjoy memories, give respect, and value what really matters. I cry a lot and keep seemingly insignificant objects, but I love it!
19. My church. Who would've thought I would become one of the crazy and happy dancers during worship? They have provided such a beautiful atmosphere for my healing and maturing in the last 4 years.
20. Dry milk and saving butter wrappers to oil a pan. These practices I grew up with taught me a lot about the value of what I have access to now.
21. All I have, I have received as a gift, not based on my performance or failures.
22. SUMMER! I could do this all year. The Lord knew what He was doing when I was born in June.
23. The newness of marriage. It's almost as if I have one story: before I got married, and now I have another. The world is before us!
24. Stories. One of my favorite volunteer jobs was to record the life stories of elderly individuals in the hospital. There's something so tender and humbling about hearing someone's story, and I'm so grateful for how it helps me love and relate with them more, knowing where they're coming from. We all have a story!
25. This goes with summer, but SUN and WATER, typically together. I feel so alive after being outside in the sun, cooling off in the water, or just letting the water calm me by staring at its consistency and peace.
26. I have an amazing community of friends and family. It's so heart-wrenching to see patients who literally have no one to care for them. I'm so grateful I have such a beautiful mix of people who I can rely on and they can rely on me.
27. Through all of my health issues, I have always been able to exercise, in some form or fashion. Being active, working out really hard, pushing it, lifting too much, being sore, sweating... these all help me de-stress, improve my physical health, but most importantly remind me that I am ALIVE! I am so grateful I can breathe and do what I love, regardless of my trachea size. :)
28. The combination of bacon and avocados, so full of texture (and fat). Nothing better!
29. Pictures from NASA of the universe. It helps me see God's perspective as well as remember His hugeness! (follow them on instagram!)
30. Finally, I am thankful for these amazing 30 years the Lord has given me. I can't imagine what the next 30 will look like... but I'm excited to see what story He writes with my life!
Saturday, June 7, 2014
Giving Permission
{This is a follow-up to the post Who is this person next to me?! as I've continued to explore this topic as well as talk to several people who have had similar experiences}
It's so funny how you're in the oddest places, when all of a sudden you hear a word or see a picture or hear a lyric that you are acutely aware of. It's like time stops and all you can do is zone in on the stimulus that caught your senses. Well, I was in BodyPump class the other day, and the bicep track was Kelly Clarkson's Bad Side. I was intrigued by a few of the lines, so here's all of them for your reference:
Oh oh oh, there's a place that I know
It's not pretty there and few have ever gone
If I show it to you now
Will it make you run away?
Or will you stay
Even if it hurts
Even if I try to push you out
Will you return?
And remind me who I really am
Please remind me who I really am
Everybody's got a dark side
Do you love me?
Can you love mine?
Nobody's a picture perfect
But we're worth it
You know that we're worth it
Will you love me?
Even with my dark side?
Like a diamond
From black dust
It's hard to know
What can become
If you give up
So don't give up on me
Please remind me who I really am
Don't run away
Don't run away
Just tell me that you will stay
Promise me you will stay
Don't run away
Don't run away
Just promise me you will stay
Promise me you will stay
It's so funny how you're in the oddest places, when all of a sudden you hear a word or see a picture or hear a lyric that you are acutely aware of. It's like time stops and all you can do is zone in on the stimulus that caught your senses. Well, I was in BodyPump class the other day, and the bicep track was Kelly Clarkson's Bad Side. I was intrigued by a few of the lines, so here's all of them for your reference:
Oh oh oh, there's a place that I know
It's not pretty there and few have ever gone
If I show it to you now
Will it make you run away?
Or will you stay
Even if it hurts
Even if I try to push you out
Will you return?
And remind me who I really am
Please remind me who I really am
Everybody's got a dark side
Do you love me?
Can you love mine?
Nobody's a picture perfect
But we're worth it
You know that we're worth it
Will you love me?
Even with my dark side?
Like a diamond
From black dust
It's hard to know
What can become
If you give up
So don't give up on me
Please remind me who I really am
Don't run away
Don't run away
Just tell me that you will stay
Promise me you will stay
Don't run away
Don't run away
Just promise me you will stay
Promise me you will stay
I don't know why I'm so surprised that pop music would have such deep lyrics, but I was encouraged. Someone else feels this way! And not just people I hang out with and know personally! Songs have a way of uniting us by establishing a common viewpoint, whether it be a struggle, question, or observation. I love it.
So I began thinking more about how a major question of marriage is, "Do you want to deal with my stuff? My junk? The stuff no one else knows? The weird stuff? Will you still love me?" That's the risk of promising to love someone else - you don't really know them until you love them deeper. You have no clue what you don't know, and that's why it's so scary sometimes!
However, I would submit that an even more important question could be, "Do I want to deal with my own stuff? My junk? Am I comfortable with not only someone else seeing it, but actually dealing with it?"
Lately I've had a few days where my junk is just THERE and I can't avoid it anymore. My husband is exceptionally patient and gracious, giving me space when I wake up grumpy and haven't had my time with Jesus yet. But beyond understanding how I respond is the challenge of actually giving myself the grace to be a mess. Why is that a challenge? Because even though we want to appear well, everyone's a mess! It's easy to just see the outside of who we are, but really there's SO much going on that we don't know, even to ourselves. It's hard, but recognizing my humanity and giving myself permission to be imperfect are probably the healthiest things I can do in my marriage, and in my life.
So give yourself permission to not be perfect today. And smile. It gets better.
Monday, May 26, 2014
Freedom
Yes, this is a cheesy Memorial Day post. I am a very sentimental and emotional gal, so anytime people begin talking of patriotism, America, the soldiers who fought for our freedom, and sacrifice, you'll probably find my eyes getting teary. I had an experience recently, though, that put it all into context.
Friday evening, we stopped in a picturesque small town in Texas (the one famous for ice cream) and had dinner. Afterwards, we went for a walk around the town square, where a gaggle of fancily-dressed 8th graders and their parents were taking awkward pictures precluding their graduation that evening. As we commented on our own junior high years, we started to notice small plaques and memorial stones around the courthouse. There was a particular monument that caught my eye when I read the inscription.
... and to those who gave the supreme sacrifice for our freedom...
The words "supreme sacrifice" made me stop. In a moment, I got it. It made sense. Not only am I priveleged to be an American citizen, where soldiers have literally sacrificed everything they had so I could live the way I do, but I also have a Savior that did the same.
He gave the supreme sacrifice. Not only in His death, but His life brought me freedom as well. I literally am free from the burdens of my past because he chose to sacrifice himself. Death brought freedom.
Someone else's sacrifice gave me freedom.
Freedom to make choices like what I wear or what my role in society is. Freedom to worship as I did yesterday morning, in a church in downtown Houston surrounded by veterans and grandmas and southern accents. Freedom to be myself.
Also freedom from the past. Experiences that have hurt me, choices I have made, the scars from these remain but I am left with nothing but a story. My freedom in Christ has given me a new life. A new, fresh start every morning.
The pastor ended his sermon yesterday with a question I am still pondering: "What do you do with that freedom?" My first thought was gratitude. I want to be better at being grateful for what I have. I also want to honor my freedom by being a good steward of it, not taking it lightly. There is so much I have I don't even realize. Sometimes I wonder if soldiers coming back from Afghanistan or Iraq are sad when they look at America and see what they've fought so dearly for, sometimes coming back without their best friends. Since they're the one making the sacrifice, are they proud of how we honor it? Or do we not realize how much it cost?
I'm just beginning on this journey to realize what my freedom means. I have a feeling it will be a long one, and I'll never truly figure it out, but I'm looking forward to trying.
Happy Memorial Day, y'all.
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
On Being "Wife"
If you remember the movie Mona Lisa Smile, you'll remember that it was about Julia Roberts' character, who was in charge of several bright and ambitious students who were on track to change the world (in her eyes, at least). The only catch was that it was the 1950s, and as Topher Grace's character bluntly put it, his new wife having a lawyer job in the city will hardly give her time to get home to make dinner for him by 5.
I remember watching the film with my mother on a rare mother-daughter date while I was attending college. We went to Jason's Deli afterwards and she proceeded to tell me what it was like to grow up and go to college in that same culture, where your destination after college was to get married. How articles like this one from Good Housekeeping defined the way that wives viewed their role. (In truth, the article is under much debate as to its authenticity, but nevertheless provides a glimpse of what was probably true).
So here I am, an (almost!) 30-year old woman, recently married, in 2014. Society has changed a lot since the 1950s, and yet my first week as a wife turned out to be a flop, personally. Let me rewind. During our dating and engagement, my thoughts often went from "I can't wait to be a wife and do this for him..." to "after we're married, will he expect me to do that?!" As I should have, I was constantly seeing if our lifestyles were compatible; would I enjoy living with him? Can I see myself making a home with him? Do I want him to be the father of my children? and so on. It seemed like everything was tracking.
Somehow, once we got back from the honeymoon, I shifted into this "wife" mode, which included more of the 1950s version of the article than I could handle. It was a blend of all that I had heard and seen in my life, from my own mother, friends who were recently married, and perceived societal norms. But it wasn't working. In short, I eventually had a breakdown where we resolved the tension of me wanting to be a good "wife" and my husband simply wanting me to be ME. Myself. Yes, be myself. That's all he wanted. He could care less if I ironed his shirts correctly or had the perfect meal ready when he got home. He just wanted me to be myself!
I'm still navigating my "wife" philosophy, but I can tell you it includes mostly my personality, wit, charm, and servant heart. In short, it's me! If I were to follow a list of rules, either from Good Housekeeping or from the society around me, it wouldn't be authentic. My husband and I have a relationship. We figure things out between us. What works for us may not work for others. And each couple has to figure out what's healthy for them. Anytime you have someone dictating rules of relationships, it becomes an irony of sorts. Isn't the point of a relationship to look at the other person and figure it out between you?
I love how our marriage is a relationship and not a formula. I love how I have the freedom to be who I am and be loved for who I am, not for what I do or how I perform. And I love that love flourishes in relationship, not in rules or guidelines. We each make our own way, so give grace to those around you, but most importantly, give it to yourself, too.
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