I met with my ENT doctor, who informed me that the recent MRI of my eye showed my autoimmune disease flaring up. NOT the news I wanted to hear. This happened only 2 years ago, so I was quite surprised at the diagnosis. However, the Lord is good and I've been through the treatment before (low-dose chemo, steroids, antibiotics), so I know it will be good for me, in many ways.
Today was particularly stressful because my supervisor was absent, leaving just two of us to man the outpatient clinic and see inpatients as well. I got super internally frustrated (I'm really good at keeping it in), and ended up just being stressed. My coworkers are pretty good at sensing this, and finally when my supervisor did come in, she said, "Ya know, you need to let us know when you need something. Please."
I know I'm not good at asking for things. This has happened before when other health concerns have gone unannounced to my family, who would take joy in praying for me. I honestly am not sure why I do this. I know, at least, that it's because I don't want to inconvenience people, and I think that they don't need to be bothered with my problems. I'm learning a lot about myself through this process, but one of the most painful lessons is to ask for help.
On Sunday one of my friends, who has gone through a pretty horrible 2 weeks, was talking to me about how she doesn't feel guilty for being the needy one. She is confident that she needs others, and is not shy about asking for prayer, counsel, or your time. I understand that it takes great confidence to do so, but I also understand the other side: I love to meet people in their needs, but if I don't know what they are, how can I help them? I'm trying my best, and hopefully the fruit will be that I will one day be told it's too much. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment