Painkiller Education

When I can fully articulate what the Lord has been doing in my life in the past 2 weeks, I will write, I promise. It's a little intense and I feel like there's more to the story - so get excited!

In the meantime, I thought I would write a little treatise on how to use painkillers. Much of my unplanned time off work in the past few weeks has been due to painkiller-related issues, so I figured it might be helpful to spell out how to actually use them. And no, my doctor or nurse did not explain this to me. I learned this all by myself!

1. No matter what they say, take the painkiller with food. And not just some crackers, FOOD. If it's the middle of the night, you're going to have to eat, simple as that.

2. Ask for an anti-emetic (like Zofran) to help with the nausea. Take the Zofran WITH the painkiller and you may even be able to get away with smaller amounts of food.

3. Have a plan. Most painkillers only last 3-4 hours. I take one set when I go to bed, but I know I will wake up, in pain, at some point. It helps to relieve stress if you already have a plan. Ok, I will probably wake up at 4 VERY uncomfortable, so I will simply take these pills and then eat these dried cherries and lay back down to rest. No time wasted agonizing over which painkiller to take and how much, etc.

4. Get a variety of painkillers. I have a mild one and one that is more potent. I use the milder one during the day (it doesn't make me sleepy) and the potent one at night since it makes me sleepy and my pain is worse at night. I have to plan the night medication, though, so I'm not drowsy for the first 2-3 hours of my day.

5. Don't be a hero. The best way to love yourself when you're in pain is to use what God has provided as relief. Take the pills!

Dear ones, I hope you are never in physical pain that requires prescriptions, but if you are, I hope this advice helps. It certainly would have helped me! :)

Home!

A few highlights from my trip home this weekend for a friend's wedding.

1. Meet Herbie, my new humidifier.

2. I received this house-warming gift (1 year late) from my Camp Daisy friends:

3. I FINALLY procured a used treadmill for my father. WIN!

4. I went to my friend Alicia's wedding and had a blast

5. I wore my mask on the plane and saw beautiful sunsets.

Some days...

Some days are good, when I forget I even have an autoimmune disease. Some days are bad, and some weeks are bad, when the doctors I see all say “I can’t do anything for you.” Sometimes the treatment fails, and you have to try something new. Your hope is always changing; hope in the new treatment, hope that the specialist you’ve come to can somehow fix your eye - and my hope in God is always the there, but there are some days when it’s stronger than others. I know He knows the end of this, and I rest in the fact that there WILL be an end, but some days are just hard.

And then sometimes I just feel completely alone. I wish I had someone to go to my doctor’s appointments with, to say, “It’s okay, I’m going to support you 100%.” I want someone to sit with me during infusion treatments, to say, “Even if this doesn’t work, I still believe in you.” I want someone to physically be there for me, when I can’t and when I have weak moments in my belief.

This isn’t the same as the last time I relapsed, it’s harder. I’m away from my family. The treatment isn’t working. My eye is still swollen and I’m now having double vision. My hair is falling out - it almost scares me when I look at the shower drain and the back of my jacket.

And then there are days where, even though I planned this trip 2 months ago for a different reason, I get to fly home and spend time with my family at the time I need it the most. So that’s good. And as always...

God is good, even when my day isn’t.

I Think I'm Actually an Adult Now!

Happy New Year!

This is not a post about my new year's resolutions, and mostly because I only have like 2 and they aren't crazy enough to share. I believe in goal setting, but most of my desires for this year can't be put in proper goal form, so I will just let you know that I intend on being awesome this year. That's it. :)

I woke up this morning and didn't feel any different. But after I sat down with my Bible and begun my 2-year quest to read my entire Bible, I was blown away by where I am in life and where God has brought me to.

All our lives, we are aware that there is a next step. After Kindergarten, we go to 1st grade. After elementary school, we enter junior high. Then high school. Then college. Then grad school (or job). Once we have a job, we get married and have kids. I know this is a generalization, but essentially we always know there is something that is "next" that is the normal progression of our life. For me, the ultimate goal was to get a job, which was why I enrolled in grad school - to get more training. After grad school, I got a job thank the Lord!

But once I had a job, there was a new city to explore, the new dynamics of living far away from my family, and the newness of it all - people, church, community, grocery stores, etc. Once I got a job, the next step was to feel at home.

So this morning, as I was contemplating how it's true that I ACTUALLY LIVE in Austin, TX and I have a church family and home, good friends, and am relatively acquainted with the city, I'm not sure what's left to do! In the natural progression above, I should be getting married, but seeing as that's not on the horizon or appears to be, we'll assume that's either happening in the future or not happening at all. :)

I kept asking myself, what's there to do next? And then I realized I'm a full-fledged adult now. I can pick whatever I want! I can decide to pursue my relationship with God more (number 1 priority right now), move to another city, invest in a non-profit, go to South America for 5 months to learn how to speak Spanish in a school (as my friend Wendy is doing), go sky diving, minister to the homeless, and the list goes on and on! I feel like I'm on the edge of a cliff, and I have the whole world waiting for me. What's even more exciting is that God has an amazing plan that will rock my socks off! How fun!

Here's to 2011 and all that God is going to do!

Thoughts on my trip home

1. When is it time to split up the large family gathering? At both of my parents' family's gatherings, comments were made about how it just seems too much to get everyone together. It's mostly due to the age of my grandparents, who are hosting, and seem really stressed about even just that. You can certainly alleviate any stress by having the family bring all the food and the host not having to make anything, but even then one of my grandmas was still stressed. I'm just wondering when you make the decision to do Christmas in smaller gatherings? Surely you want to see everyone, but sometimes the family just gets too big. My mother's family stopped meeting at our grandma's house when I was little and moved the gathering (up to 30 people) to the church basement and most recently the community center. But now the community center is being bought, so I'm not sure what will happen. My grandma suggested us just going out to eat, but I think potlucks are so much fun! Hmmm.

2. My family is so comfortable and feels so right when I'm around them. I'm amazed that we can catch up and talk just as if it was yesterday that we saw each other. And I love that the houses and people are the same - certainly, with some changes - but for the most part, the same. It's such a comfort, especially this past year with A LOT of changes, to have some things be the same. Sigh.

3. This isn't related to home, but I'm increasingly amazed at the relationship between salt and water. I have to put salt into my humidifier to make it turn into steam. I put salt in my nasal rinse bottle. If you eat too much salt and lots of water, you may retain water and gain weight. Water follows salt. Yet they're almost opposites - one dries out and one moisturizes. Interesting.

4. This week will be a good week to catch up at work and home after my long trip, host some Christmas gatherings and be with friends, and generally relax and get some projects done. The two projects I'm thinking of are scrapbooking-related: first is to finish my personal scrapbook up until my move to Texas (one year ago). I'm usually up to date, but I've neglected it for the past year. My other project is to "stitch" together the 12" x 12" scanned scrapbook pages of my Grandma May's album. I had to scan them in two parts for each page since my scanner isn't 12x12, so part of the project will be looking for a free software that stitches pictures. They make it for PCs, but not Macs, as far as I've seen. Anyone with expertise in this area? :)

5. I love my family! I'm super blessed to know them and have them a part of my life. At one point, one of my uncles told me he appreciated my faith and positive outlook despite my circumstances. It filled him with joy to see the "younger" generation praising God and following after Him. Little comments like that just make me so happy to be a part of the family I am - one that loves God, too! :)

A Year of Being New

I'm home in Kansas for Christmas celebrations, and had some down time so I thought I'd scrawl a few thoughts about this year.

As the calendar and my first year in Austin come to a close, it's time for some reflection and review of my life thus far.

2010 was a very hard, amazing, and growing year. If you count part of last December as part of this year (which I will for purposes of this review), here's a summary of events:

Graduated with a master's degree

Procured employment

Moved to Texas

Began my new employment

Was treated for a fungal lung infectional while not on health insurance

Found a new church and small group

Began understanding my life away from my family

Explored and fell in love with Austin

Paid off about $12,000 in debt already!

Am currently under treatment for flare-up of my autoimmune disease

When I teach a stress management class at work to my patients, I always include a "stressful events" list that includes a lot of big life events like moving, losing a loved one, change in financial status, etc. I'm pretty sure that most of the events above are on that list! Good thing I do not get stressed easily.

When I think about this past year, I am filled with contentment. However hard it was, it was good for me. I successfully moved to another state and essentially began a new life. Being a part from my family has probably been the hardest part, especially during financial/car crises, sickness, and just plain not being near them. Starting over in a new city was also a big event, and is still taking up a lot of my emotional energy and time. From finding how to get to work, where to buy groceries, and where to exercise to bigger things like finding a church and small group community that I can grow in were all parts of moving to a new city and state.

And then there was the crises: car won't start, lungs are moldy but no health insurance, your autoimmune disease has relapsed. But through it all, the them was that God WILL PROVIDE. He always does. I know this now more than ever because of what He has brought me through and how it has changed me. I know I am a different person for what I have experienced this past year, and I am learning more and more about myself everyday. It's such a beautiful experience, to be stripped of all that's comfortable and familiar, and have to start over with only God as your source of strength, hope, and continuity. But He was faithful. And He always will be.

As I look to next year, I can only hope that the Lord continues His work of molding me and changing me. As much as I avoid change, I also embrace it because I know how valuable it is. I also hope to deepen relationships that I have begun and specifically find a purpose and place in my "new" life. I have an overwhelming feeling that the theme of next year is going to be "New" and I that I haven't even begun to tap into the newness that is all around me - both spiritually and relationally.

So... let's take a poll. Now that I'm not necessarily "new" anymore, should I change my blog title? what should I change my blog title to?

Diet Dr. Pepper... Friend or Foe?

A few months ago, one of my coworkers announced that she was going on a diet. I was inspired by her, and also wanted to avoid any judging during lunchtime that may be had. So! I decided I would take a HUGE risk and try Diet Dr. Pepper.

I checked the Nutrition Facts: 0 calories! No HFCS! Wow! And...

It didn't taste ALL that bad.

I know, I know. But realizing that it tasted okay enough for me to get my carbonation and sweet craving out of the way, I thought of it a good option. I announced my fortune to my friends, who immediately told me about the AWFUL AWFUL effects: bone deterioration, seizures, eyes bugging out, etc. (Ok, the last 2 aren't true). So, I decided I would do a little (reliable) internet research. Here we go.

My first stop was this snopes.com article, where I read up a bit on aspartame, the artificial sweetner that makes diet soda taste so good without HFCS. I discovered that NO, aspartame has not been shown to cause health problems such as methanol toxicity, fibromyalgia symptoms, spasms, numbness in your legs, shooting pains, headaches, M.S., joint pain, arthritis, slurred speech, blurred vision, memory loss, blindness, etc. The list goes on (and is ridiculous when you actually read through it!). How could one chemical cause all that damage? Well, because it's not true. Quote from the website:

"To date, the FDA has not determined any consistent pattern of symptoms that can attributed to the use of aspartame, nor is the agency aware of any recent studies that clearly show safety problems."

My next stop was the Mayo Clinic website, which has a wealth of knowledge, and of course, all of it is reliable. This article, written by an Registered Dietician, clearly points out that while there are no known ill effects of aspartame and diet soda in general, there are better options, like water or juice.

I know that I could be drinking water, but from what I've read and heard, diet soda really isn't all that bad. Most of the websites or information that states it is bad for you does not measure up to my reputable information standard, so I can't trust it.

To satisfy my sweet tooth at lunch, I now drink some Crystal Light sweet peach tea. It has only 5 calories and satisfies that need for something sweet at the end. If I do get a craving for Dr. Pepper, which only happens once or twice a week now, I most certainly will try the diet version. Appears to be okay for me! :)