Last night was one of those nights. The kind where you toss and turn and try to calm your mind and heart, then eventually fall asleep. I only knew I had fallen asleep because I woke up to a screeching alarm, then it registered: I feel like death.
Especially in the last few months, I've found my mind wandering, worrying, planning unnecessarily, and not slowing down. Usually if I pray or turn my thoughts to what Jesus would say, it will calm me. But every once in awhile I need a lullaby. Something to focus on, rest in, and fall asleep to. Here's mine:
Draw Me, Lord by Selah
I've Always Loved You by Third Day
Break Every Chain by Jesus Culture
God I Look to You by Antioch/World Mandate
Usually by the last song I can feel myself drifting off to sleep. I also love that as I'm entering my subconscious, the last thing I hear is that Jesus loves me, is fighting for me, and has it all figured out.
Pillow talk, if you will, with my Savior.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Friday, August 24, 2012
I liked it, so I put a pin on it
It's one of those things you tell yourself you'll never do. And then suddenly, you find yourself betraying your common sense and spoken resolve, only to discover the result just as everyone has described it: AWESOME!
I joined Pinterest.
I think my initial reluctance was due my ignorance; I simply didn't know what Pinterest was. If someone explained it to me and actually showed me on the screen, I probably would've joined awhile ago! I love being able to organize my ideas for different topics and also share with others. It's great!
Here are some of my favorite pins so far:
For the Home
Ha! Love this!
Future Bathroom - love the rustic style
My new house has 6 girls, so we needed a mail organizer. I have yet to make it, but I will soon!
I actually did this gift idea for 2 of my friends who are teachers. They both LOVED it!
And... one last one. Just a remind that Pinterest can possibly take all of your time! :)
One other thing I've loved is this blog, Pintrosity. People submit their failed Pinterest projects and give advice for how to actually make it work. Hilarious! Ya know, things like this, when you have a DIY homemade dishwasher cleaner that doesn't work out so well...
Ha! Happy Pinning! If you need an invite, let me know :)
I joined Pinterest.
I think my initial reluctance was due my ignorance; I simply didn't know what Pinterest was. If someone explained it to me and actually showed me on the screen, I probably would've joined awhile ago! I love being able to organize my ideas for different topics and also share with others. It's great!
Here are some of my favorite pins so far:
For the Home
Ha! Love this!
Future Bathroom - love the rustic style
My new house has 6 girls, so we needed a mail organizer. I have yet to make it, but I will soon!
I actually did this gift idea for 2 of my friends who are teachers. They both LOVED it!
And... one last one. Just a remind that Pinterest can possibly take all of your time! :)
One other thing I've loved is this blog, Pintrosity. People submit their failed Pinterest projects and give advice for how to actually make it work. Hilarious! Ya know, things like this, when you have a DIY homemade dishwasher cleaner that doesn't work out so well...
Ha! Happy Pinning! If you need an invite, let me know :)
Friday, August 17, 2012
There's Always Sunday, right?
I'm stuck on Saturday. The in between. The day positioned in the middle of the despair (Friday) and the fulfillment of the promise (Sunday). Moses and Sarah lived in a Saturday for a year, waiting for their promised child. David spent a lot of time in Saturdays, mostly spent in caves, reciting all he knew to be true about God so he wouldn't forget the promise.
Waiting for a promise, waiting for a breakthrough, waiting for the sunlight.
I didn't realize the power of this song until I really paid attention to the lyrics, then I was hooked. I can't stop listening to it, hoping that what it's saying is actually true.
Come away with me, come away with me
It's never too late, it's not too late, it's not too late for you
I have plans for you, I have plans for you
It's gonna be wild, it's gonna be great, it's gonna be full of Me
Open up your heart and let me in
Waiting for a promise, waiting for a breakthrough, waiting for the sunlight.
I didn't realize the power of this song until I really paid attention to the lyrics, then I was hooked. I can't stop listening to it, hoping that what it's saying is actually true.
Come away with me, come away with me
It's never too late, it's not too late, it's not too late for you
I have plans for you, I have plans for you
It's gonna be wild, it's gonna be great, it's gonna be full of Me
Open up your heart and let me in
Thursday, August 2, 2012
The Barrow House
On Tuesday, we walked through the house I had lived in for the past 12 months with the property manager as the final "walk through." Besides a smallish hole in the wall, we will get most of our security deposit back! Yay! That is a huge relief as being unemployed, hundreds of dollars means a lot.
The house (named so for the street that it is on) had been home to a total of 8 women over a 2 year period of time. One moved out to pursue her dream of music, one to get married, and one to venture to Africa. You can imagine how much stuff was left that no one really knows whose it is simply because we don't remember or the person isn't there to claim it. It was a major endeavor to clear the house of not only our stuff, but all the extras, and then clean it. It has no carpet, so everything had to be swept and then mopped. And it wasn't a high quality dwelling to begin with, so getting it "clean" is more of a judgement call than a standard.
The house was especially different because the Lord was so intentional about who he put in the house and where they were in their journey. We often joked it should be called the Barrow Rehab because so many of us found restoration, healing, and comfort in that house. And that's just the roommates. We hosted dozens of large group events, from concerts in our backyard to Thanksgiving that I know blessed others immensely with our hospitality. The Lord spoke those intentions to each of us before we moved in, and it's such a beautiful thing to thank Him for the purposes and wonders He did through the house and it's inhabitants.
As i walked out for the last time, as I often do, I got teary-eyed. The song playing on the radio as I drove away was David Crowder's "Holy" and I couldn't help but roll my windows down, stick my arm out, and praise the Lord for the privilege of being a part of such a beautiful house.
I will miss a lot about the Barrow, but one thing I love is that the Lord's presence goes with us wherever we are, and I can't wait to see what he will do in our new house. Six girls and a dog. Who knows what will happen!
The house (named so for the street that it is on) had been home to a total of 8 women over a 2 year period of time. One moved out to pursue her dream of music, one to get married, and one to venture to Africa. You can imagine how much stuff was left that no one really knows whose it is simply because we don't remember or the person isn't there to claim it. It was a major endeavor to clear the house of not only our stuff, but all the extras, and then clean it. It has no carpet, so everything had to be swept and then mopped. And it wasn't a high quality dwelling to begin with, so getting it "clean" is more of a judgement call than a standard.
The house was especially different because the Lord was so intentional about who he put in the house and where they were in their journey. We often joked it should be called the Barrow Rehab because so many of us found restoration, healing, and comfort in that house. And that's just the roommates. We hosted dozens of large group events, from concerts in our backyard to Thanksgiving that I know blessed others immensely with our hospitality. The Lord spoke those intentions to each of us before we moved in, and it's such a beautiful thing to thank Him for the purposes and wonders He did through the house and it's inhabitants.
As i walked out for the last time, as I often do, I got teary-eyed. The song playing on the radio as I drove away was David Crowder's "Holy" and I couldn't help but roll my windows down, stick my arm out, and praise the Lord for the privilege of being a part of such a beautiful house.
I will miss a lot about the Barrow, but one thing I love is that the Lord's presence goes with us wherever we are, and I can't wait to see what he will do in our new house. Six girls and a dog. Who knows what will happen!
Monday, July 30, 2012
Spiritual Heritage
It's been a little crazy around here! Once I returned from my Kansas trip, I went into full recovery mode from an ear/sinus infection (read, sleeping a LOT) and packing and organizing and arranging moving companies and trucks, etc. On the flip, we've moved 95% of our stuff to the new place and just have to clean and sort through the leftovers at the old place. It's amazing how much stuff can pile up after 2 years and rotating roommates! I did want to blog about my trip, so here's the first of my musings from the week.
My love for scrapbooking is rooted in a deep belief that everyone has a story to tell. The Greatest Story is, of course, in the Bible, and all stories follow the same path. I believe it's of upmost importance to share your story, especially when it involves generations and families and God. As I was putting together my Grandfather's book, I was reading stories and hearing stories and imagining in my mind what it must have been like to show up in Decatur County, Kansas in 1886 with 8 kids in tow and start a farm from the dust under your feet. What is was like to found and charter the first Lutheran church in the county, to barely make it by each year, and transform the landscape physically and spiritually.
The true pioneers in my life are my ancestors; what they have done has impacted my life immeasurably more than I know.
My great-great-grandfather Henry May chartered the first Lutheran church in the county. Most of his children became or married farmers, all while keeping within the church. When you read about each of his children in the family history, it lists their birth date, where they were born, their baptism date, when they were married, kids, and date of death. Baptism was such an important part of their life it was included in their biography! My great-grandpa Ernest May was of such Low German heritage that he venemently opposed the construction of kneelers in the new church; he hadn't taken the Lord's Supper for 50 years kneeling and didn't need to start now. :) My grandfather Martin May is a rock of faith; he has seen more tragedy and always taken it in stride. In visiting with him after the fire destroyed much of his own father's farmstead that he built with his hands, he doesn't complain or mope. He wonders what he should do next. How do I move on?
Out of the 7 grandchildren, 2 are pastors. All these pieces put together made me realize how BLESSED I am to have such a rich spiritual heritage. Bill Johnson speaks a lot about handing down the spiritual territory from one generation to another; I'd like to think my ancestors have done this extremely well. Because of their faithfulness and trust in God, I was raised in a home where God's name was spoken and we prayed. We weren't perfect, but we were surrounded by a believing family and had an innate genetic makeup that included some kind of resiliency and trust in Him. For that, I am forever grateful.
My love for scrapbooking is rooted in a deep belief that everyone has a story to tell. The Greatest Story is, of course, in the Bible, and all stories follow the same path. I believe it's of upmost importance to share your story, especially when it involves generations and families and God. As I was putting together my Grandfather's book, I was reading stories and hearing stories and imagining in my mind what it must have been like to show up in Decatur County, Kansas in 1886 with 8 kids in tow and start a farm from the dust under your feet. What is was like to found and charter the first Lutheran church in the county, to barely make it by each year, and transform the landscape physically and spiritually.
The true pioneers in my life are my ancestors; what they have done has impacted my life immeasurably more than I know.
My great-great-grandfather Henry May chartered the first Lutheran church in the county. Most of his children became or married farmers, all while keeping within the church. When you read about each of his children in the family history, it lists their birth date, where they were born, their baptism date, when they were married, kids, and date of death. Baptism was such an important part of their life it was included in their biography! My great-grandpa Ernest May was of such Low German heritage that he venemently opposed the construction of kneelers in the new church; he hadn't taken the Lord's Supper for 50 years kneeling and didn't need to start now. :) My grandfather Martin May is a rock of faith; he has seen more tragedy and always taken it in stride. In visiting with him after the fire destroyed much of his own father's farmstead that he built with his hands, he doesn't complain or mope. He wonders what he should do next. How do I move on?
Out of the 7 grandchildren, 2 are pastors. All these pieces put together made me realize how BLESSED I am to have such a rich spiritual heritage. Bill Johnson speaks a lot about handing down the spiritual territory from one generation to another; I'd like to think my ancestors have done this extremely well. Because of their faithfulness and trust in God, I was raised in a home where God's name was spoken and we prayed. We weren't perfect, but we were surrounded by a believing family and had an innate genetic makeup that included some kind of resiliency and trust in Him. For that, I am forever grateful.
Friday, July 20, 2012
New Life Amongst the Ashes
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11 ESV)
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Bagpipes and Jameson Irish Whiskey
It wasn't shortly after I arrived Wednesday evening that we were informed my sister-in-law's father had passed away after a long bout with stage 4 throat cancer. The last few days have been a roller coaster - getting to spend time with family and also grieving and supporting my wonderful in laws.
Today was the funeral, Irish Catholic mass style. I'm a very emotional person and I tend to respond fairly strongly to the emotions I sense around me, so when the bagpiper started Amazing Grace, my heart melted. Every story, every picture helped me understand even more just who this man was and will be remembered for.
After the funeral lunch, we were invited over to the house. I don't think I've ever seen so much food in my life! There was at least 50 people there; mostly family, some friends. After a few hours, there was a gathering out back to toast. Someone handed me a red Solo cup with none other than a shot of Jameson's Irish Whiskey. I stood and listened to the things and acts of kindness this man had brought to so many lives. We raised our glasses, drank, and then my mouth and throat were on fire. I forgot what that felt like!
At the end of the day, I'm in awe of the families that we have. We don't choose them, but God was so wise when He chose them for us. Whether or not we like them, they're family. And that means something, no matter what happens.
Today was the funeral, Irish Catholic mass style. I'm a very emotional person and I tend to respond fairly strongly to the emotions I sense around me, so when the bagpiper started Amazing Grace, my heart melted. Every story, every picture helped me understand even more just who this man was and will be remembered for.
After the funeral lunch, we were invited over to the house. I don't think I've ever seen so much food in my life! There was at least 50 people there; mostly family, some friends. After a few hours, there was a gathering out back to toast. Someone handed me a red Solo cup with none other than a shot of Jameson's Irish Whiskey. I stood and listened to the things and acts of kindness this man had brought to so many lives. We raised our glasses, drank, and then my mouth and throat were on fire. I forgot what that felt like!
At the end of the day, I'm in awe of the families that we have. We don't choose them, but God was so wise when He chose them for us. Whether or not we like them, they're family. And that means something, no matter what happens.
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